The whispers of scissors
by Jadecutter
Summary: Jade is slowly dying inside. She can bearly carry on; one of the onlty things keeping her alive are her scissors. Rated M for safety, includes swearing, self harm, eating disorders and suicide attempt.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious or any of the characters.**

**3****rd**** person POV.**

Jade sat on her black silk bed covers, sharpening and polishing her many scissors. She did this every week to ensure they were kept to the utmost standard. She finally reached her pair that were used most frequently, but not for cutting paper. These needed the most care as these helped her through her strongest emotions; they were like a friend with the companionship they gave her. Once she had finished with them, Jade left them out and put the other pairs carefully away into her draw each in their own special selected place and slid the draw gently shut.

Jade returned to her bed and picked up the scissors, turning them over in her hands, letting the memories flood over her. Her arms and legs tingled as she thought about every scar she had ever made; each one had its own little story to why it was there. No one knew about her painful secret and even if they suspected they didn't care. Why would anyone ever care about Jade? Who would worry about her? No one. Everyone assumed that she was perfectly happy being a little storm cloud, the freak that would hurt them on a daily basis. She could look after her self.

The truth was, she couldn't.

**Jade's POV.**

I stalked into school, dreading yet another day of the hell that is my life. The people who stared like I was in some kind of freak show! _Let the bitches stare!_ _I give up giving a fuck! _Tori was between me and me locker, _great_, all I needed was little miss perfect sunshine in the way. I stomped past her, ignoring her attempt at a good morning. I felt a small amount of pride as I saw my locker, covered in scissors as normal. I threw my locker open, grabbed my books and slammed it shut just as the bell for first period rang.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I still do not own Victorious or the characters.**

I threw myself into the chair besides Beck as Sikowitz entered into the class room via the window.

"See, Tori! I told you that it's a good idea to come through the window!" Sikowitz sipped his coconut. "In case anyone didn't know; the milk gives me visions!" He gestured to the coconut.

"I'll keep that in mind…" Tori replied to his earlier statement.

"Can we just start the lesson already?!" I grew impatient.

"JADE! Isn't it nice to here you sweet voice about the class," Sikowitz said patronisingly. "Ok, so today we shall be having a discussion about a certain little play of mine which some of you lucky students shall be performing in!"

"Please tell me it's not like the others! I do not want to be an understudy or HER wife again!" I glared at Tori as I said this. God, I loathe her.

"Calm down, babe," Beck tried to chill me out.

"Jade will be playing lead as Lucy, Tori will be playing her twin Jessica. Cat, you shall be their mother and Beck as father. Andre is the friendly hobo." Sikowitz announced.

"I'm a _what_ now?" Andre asked indignantly.

"A hobo my dear, dear Andre. A friendly one to be exact!" Sikowitz grinned and drank some more of his coconut.

"AGH, I'M SUPPOSED TO BE VEGA'S TWIN!" I got up and stormed out of the class room, slamming the door shut and ran to the toilets. I ripped out of my small bag that was with me my sharp, shiny, scissors.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Still don't own Victorious of any of the characters!**

* * *

**Tori's POV.**

I didn't see Jade till 3rd period when she trudged her way in half way through the lesson. Jade seemed to be acting a bit off, the way she held her self seemed like she was uncomfortable.

"Jade? Where have you been, you missed second period and half of this one?" Lane stared at her.

"Around…" Jade replied mysteriously as she slid into the only remaining seat which was next to mine. "Missed me, _Vega_?"

"Not particularly, Beck and Cat did though." I answered honestly.

"Bitch," Jade breathed just loud enough for me to hear.

"Thanks freak." I shot back maliciously.

Jade just rolled her eyes and ignored me. As I watched her I noticed how she was holding her arms again. I focused on the cuffs of her sleeves and nearly shouted with shock. As it was I had alerted Jade to what I had seen. She ripped her cuffs over her hands and her eyes flashed menacingly at me. I could just tell she was saying: _If you tell __**anyone**__,I will kill you!_ I took a deep calming breath and decided to confront Jade after the lesson.

* * *

**Jade's POV.**

_Shit! _Stupid Vega had seen. God damn it, couldn't that girl mind her own business. I ignored her as she tried to get my attention, concentrating on whatever Lane was talking about. Finally, after what seemed like an age, the bell rang for lunch. Just as I left the class someone grabbed me and shoved me into a janitors closet. It just had to be freakin' Vega.

"What the fuck do you want?" I hissed, holding my scissors to her throat.

"I want to talk about that," She said pointing to where my sleeve had slipped down and the dry blood on my scissors.

"Oh crap!" I stuffed the scissors back into my bag and before I could stop her Tori had wrestled one of my long sleeves up my arm to revel the fresh wounds.

She gasped, "Jade! Did you do this?" She looked visibly upset, very confused and slightly angry.

"No, a gerbil did it! Yes, Vega, I did it! So what? Do you have a problem?" I muttered angrily.

"Yes, I do have a problem. I don't understand why one of my friends c-cuts herself!" Tori now looked at me pleadingly, "Please, just tell me?"

I stare back at her coldly until after a minute I break, "I just… my life. My family, this place, you guys, what's happened in the past… I just can't cope." Tori is looking away now, seeming deep in thought. She doesn't notice the tears slipping down my porcelain cheeks.

She finally looks at me and after a moments hesitation she envelops me into a warm hug. I burry my face into her shoulder just letting myself have emotion.

"Hey, it's okay. I won't tell anyone if you don't want me to?" Tori patted my back softly.

"Okay, let me go Vega." I put up my cold hard front again, shutting down my emotions again. "I'm going to lunch, wait two minutes before following and tell no one, got it?" I looked at her expectantly.

She nodded in submission, "We need to talk about this though, I'm coming to your house tonight."

"Vega…" I said in warning.

"I will, okay, you have no choice. Now go, I'll follow in two minutes." With that she pushed me out of the closet.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Don't own a thing!**

**Tori's POV.**

I knock on her door and wait patiently for her to answer. Nothing. I knock again, a little harder this time. Still nothing. I try the handle and the door opens.

"Jade?" I call timidly. I hear an odd noise upstairs so I follow it. As I get closer to the door at the end of the corridor I recognise it a retching. I slowly creep closer to the door and peek through the crack where it hasn't been shut properly. At first it looks like Jade is just ill until I see her raise her hand to her mouth and thrust her fingers down her throat.

"JADE!" I scream as I barge into the bathroom.

Jade chokes and splutters as I enter. She has tears rolling down her cheeks, and her mouth looks like its bleeding. She moans gently then falls to the floor sobbing.

"Jade," I say softer this time. "Jade, come on, get up." I haul her up and gently sit her on the side of the bath. I start to clean up. I get a flannel and carefully mop her face like a child's'. Then I clean up the bathroom, flushing the evidence down the toilet then washing my hands. I take Jades hand and lead her down the landing to where I know her room is.

"Jade, do you want to tell me what's going on?" I ask when she is comfortably in her PJs and sat on her bed.

"I-I, I'm so… fat," Jade whispers the last word.

"No, you're really not, you're beautiful just the way you are. Why were you bleeding?" I look at her with deep concern.

"My nails," Jade hugged herself gently. "They cut my throat when I purge. And I'm not fucking beautiful! How could anyone find me beautiful, I'm a fucking freak who cuts her self, purges and wants to die!" She screams at me.

"J-Jade, you want to… _die_?" I now am trying not to cry, she gives me the worst amount of shit in the world but to die? I stare deep into her troubled eyes.

**Authors note: Please R&R, your opinions mean alot to me! Warning: Do not copy any of the stuff that happens on here!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Don't own anythingy.**

**Jade's POV.**

I look away from her worried gaze, ashamed that I'm telling her, Tori-dumbass-Vega, about my life. "Mind your own fucking business _Vega!_ Just leave, I hate you and how you're just so fucking perfect! Everyone loves you and worships you, you manipulating bitch! You didn't even have to audition to get in just because your stupid sister was being and idiot so she couldn't sing. Now get out of my room and my house!" I scream at her, mostly angry at myself that I was careless enough to let this happen.

"Jade, I'm sorry, I just want to hel-"

"NO! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE AND MY LIFE!" I screech, flipping out my biggest most lethal pair of scissors and point them at her. "GO!"

"I'm sorry," Tori gets up and leaves my room, when I eventually hear the front door click shut I burst into tears.

That's it, the one last person who might have cared I've driven away form myself. I'm just so stupid and useless. I should just die. I look at the scissors in my hand. They're from my favourite movie; The Scissoring. Cat had bought them for me for a Christmas present a while ago. I get up and walk to my desk and pick up some paper; time to write my farewells.

* * *

_Cat,_

_Thank you, you were one of the few people I would truly call my friend. I hope this doesn't upset you too much but now I have to go, it's my time. I'm sorry and good bye, Jade_

* * *

_Beck_

_Oh Beck, you were so good, you put up with crap for along time. I don't blame you for giving up; I can't really considering I'm giving up. I'm so sorry I was never kinder to you and I never fully appreciated you. Please look after Cat for me, she needs some one to. I love you, Jade_

* * *

_Andre_

_You know I never really spoke to you a lot, you've always been there but we never spoke a lot. Good bye, Jade_

* * *

_Robbie (and Rex)_

_You guys pissed me off so much but I do regret some of the things I did to you Robbie. Rex, I still hate you, you stupid dumbass puppet. So long, Jade_

* * *

_Tori_

_I'm sorry I screamed at you, I suppose if I hadn't you would still be with me right now and I'd be ok. I'm sorry for all those bitchy things I said, you are truly amazing. Apologies, Jade _

* * *

_Mum & Dad_

_Sorry, none of this is your fault, I hated you both for the crap you gave me however I still love you, Jade_

* * *

I sealed up al of the envelopes and wrote their names of each one. The I took my scissors with me as I went to my bathroom and ran the bath. Once it was half full I shut of the taps and climbed in. the water was painfully hot and it scolded my pale skin. I opened my scissors out so I had hold of one of the blades. _Deep breath, Jade. _I slide the blade down both my arms, severing the major vessels. Next I slice deep slits in my legs. I drag the blade across my stomach the finally I carve the trail of my tear which slid down my cheek as I made the first cut. I'm finished. I clutch my scissors as I fuzzily drift out of coconsciousness.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious or its Characters!**

**Tori's POV.**

I give her about half an hour to calm down before walking back in again. As I enter the house I realise some thing is wrong. The house is silent. Dead silent. There's that weird feeling you usually get where you can feel if some ones near by. A thought flashes into my mind and my head hurts in a blinding panic. _Oh my god, she hasn't… _No, I can't finish that thought. I scramble up her stains and see the light on in her bathroom again. A creepy da ja vue feeling causes me to take a deep breath before facing the horror which will face me this time. I walk in.

"JADE!" I seem to scream that a lot, "Oh my god Jade…" I shake her gently before immediately stopping that as I see more blood float out of her lifeless body. The bath of water she lies in is red. Red, red, red. I pull out my phone and dial 911.

I tell the lady who answers all of the details, she tells me an ambulance will be with me in a few minuets. I gently pull her out of the bath, lying her on a towel of the floor. Her cuts are still oozing blood so I try to get more towels to get rid of it. I also put her in a robe so she at least has some dignity when the ambulance arrives.

They carry her away on a gurney, and I come with her in the back of the ambulance. I answer all of the questions they ask about Jade and me. I feel guilty, like this is all my fault. I could have saved her if I had just gone in 10-15 minutes earlier. They tell me she's still alive but in a coma and she has lost a lot of blood. They also tell me a bunch of medical terms which I can't understand.

* * *

I'm back again, they make me leave sometimes, trying to make me live my life but I refuse. I have my letter and I read it every half an hour like it's the most important secret ever. I had to speak to many doctors and nurses about what I know about Jade, her self harm, her eating disorders, everything. I tell them I don't know much about, that I only had just found out about the same day she tried to die but they just keep asking as if I will magically know the answer. Cat comes everyday and babbles nonsense to Jade or sits there weeping, Beck comes regularly and demands she keeps fighting for him. The others come occasionally, but not as much as us. The saddest thing is her parents have visited twice. The first time when they were first called and the second time to bring some of her stuff here. The two times they came, they called her selfish and attention seeking, telling her they had to be dragged away from their most important jobs to visit their ridiculous daughter who only ever thinks of herself. I'm almost glad they never visit!

"Come on, Jade," I beg "Just tell me how stupid I am for never leaving you alone. Please! Just say something."

"Jadey! I asked my mum and she said because your parents kicked you out you're welcome to stay with us! Please,"

* * *

**Jade's POV.**

I hear them, all of them; talking, begging, shouting. I hate it. I feel so guilty, especially when it's Tori. She spends all of the time she can here, still trying to save me. I want to answer but I can't. I want to hug Cat and stop her crying and I want to reach out to my Beck, I want to tell him that I will be strong for him. But I can't. Its like a mental prison, I'm trapped here and it's because of my stupidity. Just like my crappy parents told me. _Beep! Beep! Beep! _Stupid monitor never shuts up but I suppose that's a good thing. I wonder if that's the point of the beeping, so you get so annoyed that you wake up and turn it off your self? No one's here right now. I'm so lonely. I wish someone would sing or play music just to get rid of the beeping!

_"Jade, please wake up, please. I don't want to suffer anymore, this is my fault! Just let me look after you, say you'll move in with me? Your parents say you can, well they did before screaming at me to get of their property before the called the cops." _

Tori's voice echoes in my head. That's it, I'm getting the fuck up! I put pressure on the weird wall that hold me in, putting all I have and more into in, I feel the walls weaken a little and I manage to squeeze Tori's hand.

"Jade?" Her voice sounds closer, I just have to keep going.

I put the entire last of this power into it and BANG! The walls are down!

**Please R&R, this is really important to me, I put alot of my experience and emotion into this. Thanks to Anonymus and ScottyBgood fo already reviewing, you've helped me and given me enthusiasm to keep writing!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:Still own zilch of Victorious**

**Jade's POV.**

The light was almost blinding as my eyes flickered open before snapping shut again. Stupid white hospital room!

"Jade!" Tori gasped and clutched at my hand. "Jade, are you awake?"

"No…" I moaned, my eyes still adjusting to the light.

Suddenly there was a flurry of movement as some nurses and doctors came rushing into the room. They started circling around me, using horrible bright lights to shine in my eyes, telling me I'm safe and that no one's going to hurt me.

"Go away," I groan at them, not wanting to be in their stupid presence.

"I'm sorry Miss West but we have to perform these examinations before we can allow you to go to the, ah, other ward." The seemingly head doctor explained.

"Why? Which ward?" I started to break down, panicking. Tori was on the other side of the wall of doctors and nurses. I reached out to her.

She shoved through them and clasped my hand tightly. "Where are you taking her?" She demanded.

"She's healed up well enough so we have to take to the Psych ward for 'special treatment'." The doctor explained carefully.

"If you think you're putting me into the crazy ward…" I started before Tori cut me off.

"How long must she stay there?" Tori rubbed my hand soothingly.

"Well it depends on progress, considering the, ah, mental aspects of Miss West's health, she could be in there for a couple of weeks then daily visits when she is released?" He then turned away and spoke quietly to the nurses.

"Tori…" She turned to look at me, "I'm sorry; you shouldn't of have to see what you did." I felt the hot moisture well up inside my eyes before gently spilling out down my cheeks.

"Shhhh, don't cry. It's okay, I'm here for you now, I promise. You'll be out of this place soon and you can move into my house, yeah?" She wrapped her arms around me, comforting me. This just made the guilt worse.

"I don't deserve your friendship… all those horrible things I said…" My tears fell thick and fast now; blurring my entire field of vision.

"You didn't mean it, you were afraid and I understand that. I'm just happy you're okay. I thought when I saw you…" She grimaced. "Either way, I'll help you through this, okay?"

"Okay." I agreed.

**Author's note: Thanks to all the people who have reviwed, followed and favorited! You guys are amazing :D (And sorry for the wait, it's been a bit hectic and busy in my life atm)**


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